I've been debating starting a blog for my journey toward Mommyhood and today, I just decided to go for it. While I was growing up, I NEVER envisioned this would be my life. I come from a HUGE family. Every women in my family has babies. No one has ever had trouble getting pregnant yet here I am. How is it possible? Why me? I've always had enough faith to "move mountains" and I know that God will send me a baby when the time is right, but why do I have to go through all of this.
I have always been the favorite aunt. Everyone knows how much I love children and I have been through more family pregnancies then most people go through in their lives. I have always stood aside and been happy for everyone. I just wish it was my turn. I want my family. I want a little human to look at me and say "mama". It's hard for me to explain why, my heart just aches for a family.
Today, I had my first post clomid checkup with my doctor. She, just like I had done at 5:30 am this morning, took a urine test and it immediately came out negative. AF hasn't shown up yet, but i'm sure she'll be here soon and I'm hoping she hurries because i'm ready for my new cycle to begin.
From the first moment I started taking clomid, I told myself that the first cycle would probably not be successful but for some reason, it still hurts. It's the rejection. The fact that we try for something so bad and we still don't get the results we worked so hard at.
Anyway, here's the very impromptu video I filmed after my appointment.
You can always find me on Youtube at:
Lots of Baby Dust,